Friday, April 29, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Monday, April 25, 2011
DO OR DIE - CANUCKS GAME 7
Not since 1994 has the prospect of a citywide riot been more likely... I, among legions of other Canucks faithful, will be at the game decked out in Canucks garb right down to my underwear!
Now I don't want to worry anyone unnecessarily, but there is a chance the Canucks may lose and in doing so become a new benchmark in playoff futility. The best team in the league by a country mile and winners of their first three contests versus the depleted defending Stanley Cup champions. Now it's a 1 game series... A Superbowl-type atmosphere is expected in the comfortable confines of Rogers Arena and ohhh how we will cheer our boys on! But in the same breath ohhh how we will worry if we don't score first...
The fragile psyche of Canucks fans is well documented and I, admittedly, am among the more fragile... After the Shithawks made it 3-0 in game 5 I angrily changed the channel and happily watched Slumdog Millionaire. A great movie about a poor, luckless boy who gets his shot at fame and fortune only to be disbelieved and has to set out on a long journey to convince the powers that be that he deserves his prize. Now if his journey was 40 years long we'd draw even stronger similarities to our current debacle... When I checked the score on my iPhone some time later to see 5-0 I knew I had the right choice!
What do our boys need to do to win you ask?
1. Score first: When the Shithawks score first the second generally comes in quick fashion
2. Intimidate: Game 6 saw the return of the Canucks forecheck, chip the puck behind their defenseman and PUNISH those little bastards! Can someone please get close enough to Duncan Keith to 2 hand his arms and/or legs?? I'll take you out for a nice steak dinner
3. Collapse in front of our net: Rumour has it Luongo will get the start Tuesday and the best goalie on the planet should get his chance... BUT if he let's in another 30+ foot Hossa wrister Alain has to grow a pair and yank him like he's starting a mower! If he stays in please, please collapse back to the dirty area, he is going to give up rebounds. Chicago is in his kitchen... Fuck they built it
4. Contain their stars: Let Smith, Johnson, whoever take as many shots as they want, hell they can score 1 or 2 too, but if Kane, Toews, Keith, Hossa or Sharp get going Lou will be jumpier than a meth addict in church...
5. FINISH: There is a laundry list of 40 goal scorers who have been shutout in playoff series and it isn't pretty... See Semin last year... Kesler needs to pot 1! I understand he's been made Toews shadow since Game 3, but the fact remains he has matched up against the other teams top line all year AND potted 41... Step up Kes your "paycut" is only going to keep you in Vancouverites' good graces only so long, I mean you know you're American right?
My prediction: The Canucks will win 4-2 with an empty-netter, beer sales will be strong and the buildings along Robson will remain intact... For now
Now I don't want to worry anyone unnecessarily, but there is a chance the Canucks may lose and in doing so become a new benchmark in playoff futility. The best team in the league by a country mile and winners of their first three contests versus the depleted defending Stanley Cup champions. Now it's a 1 game series... A Superbowl-type atmosphere is expected in the comfortable confines of Rogers Arena and ohhh how we will cheer our boys on! But in the same breath ohhh how we will worry if we don't score first...
The fragile psyche of Canucks fans is well documented and I, admittedly, am among the more fragile... After the Shithawks made it 3-0 in game 5 I angrily changed the channel and happily watched Slumdog Millionaire. A great movie about a poor, luckless boy who gets his shot at fame and fortune only to be disbelieved and has to set out on a long journey to convince the powers that be that he deserves his prize. Now if his journey was 40 years long we'd draw even stronger similarities to our current debacle... When I checked the score on my iPhone some time later to see 5-0 I knew I had the right choice!
What do our boys need to do to win you ask?
1. Score first: When the Shithawks score first the second generally comes in quick fashion
2. Intimidate: Game 6 saw the return of the Canucks forecheck, chip the puck behind their defenseman and PUNISH those little bastards! Can someone please get close enough to Duncan Keith to 2 hand his arms and/or legs?? I'll take you out for a nice steak dinner
3. Collapse in front of our net: Rumour has it Luongo will get the start Tuesday and the best goalie on the planet should get his chance... BUT if he let's in another 30+ foot Hossa wrister Alain has to grow a pair and yank him like he's starting a mower! If he stays in please, please collapse back to the dirty area, he is going to give up rebounds. Chicago is in his kitchen... Fuck they built it
4. Contain their stars: Let Smith, Johnson, whoever take as many shots as they want, hell they can score 1 or 2 too, but if Kane, Toews, Keith, Hossa or Sharp get going Lou will be jumpier than a meth addict in church...
5. FINISH: There is a laundry list of 40 goal scorers who have been shutout in playoff series and it isn't pretty... See Semin last year... Kesler needs to pot 1! I understand he's been made Toews shadow since Game 3, but the fact remains he has matched up against the other teams top line all year AND potted 41... Step up Kes your "paycut" is only going to keep you in Vancouverites' good graces only so long, I mean you know you're American right?
My prediction: The Canucks will win 4-2 with an empty-netter, beer sales will be strong and the buildings along Robson will remain intact... For now
Friday, April 22, 2011
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Monday, April 11, 2011
Friday, April 8, 2011
Friday, April 1, 2011
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